Cricket Cricket Cricket

I will admit i was not at Headingly in 1981 which was not a suprise as i was a 10yr old living in London.Didn’t know much about cricket just thought it was a boring game,televison was three channels in those days so i decided to give the cricket a go.Having missed Botham’s innings the previous day i didn’t know that i was about to watch a demented bowler take 8 aussie wickets make me want to become a fast bowler and fall in love with cricket.The thing with Bob Willis was the run-up how could he appraoch the wicket like a deer on a bad acid trip.Don’t know don’t care i was hooked

All my friends wanted to be batsmen not me i was going to be the new Bob Willis,i wanted to steam in and take wicket after wicket just one problem…i was crap.Now i knew this pretty much straight away but i didn’t care and my mates loved it because they could hit me all over the park.The football season started and all my mates got back into that not me i was hooked.Luckily enough there was one other kid who liked cricket so we would play on the council estate where we both lived he would bat,for a long long time and he had that thing called talent he went on to play club cricket and his son Billy Godleman now plays for Essex.As for me? Pah i knew my time was up by the age of eleven but as far as i was concerned cricket was the only sport for me

How did it come to this?

Well in 2003 i was going through the divorce from hell,i was £28000 in debt and back living with my Dad in the council flat i was raised.Working nights meant i had not much time for a social life and weekends were spent with my wonderful daughter.After a bit dark thoughts were running through my mind and i couldn’t care less if i were to get hit by a bus.Like a lot of people esp men i kept these thoughts to myself but things were a struggle and each day that passed seemed to get harder.In Feb 2005 to cut a very long story short i was admited to one of the Priory hospitals(work paid) The next two months were a complete waste of time i still wished i was dead and the hospital did not seem to know what to do with me.One new trick i did learn in there was self harm,i had never even heard of it till one night i went to slash my wrists lost my bottle and just took it out on my arms.I still have the scars(they are not pretty)My insurance ran out and because i was on suicide watch i was transfered to an acute ward in a NHS hospital now as you can imagine it was a world of difference from the Priory but i always felt safe and the staff were in a different leauge from it’s private counterpart.

After five weeks i was discharged and stayed at a friends house in Suffolk but my mood dipped and i was taken in to my third hospital.This i thought will be my last because i am going to kill myself.In the days and hours leading up to my attempt i was so very calm.I would spend the days watching the ashes knowing that in a few days i would be dead.Now i have to admit i was very naive and thought that just taking 80 asprin would kill me in my sleep.Trust me it dosen’t

I will stop there but will come back to this at a later date

Hello,been a long time…

Hello,been a long time and so i want to make a fresh start blogging.A few people have suggested doing this as to help with my bipolarity and so here goes.

Although all forms of mental health is a nightmare there are coping strategies we use to get through day to day mine are simple-music-and the big daddy of them all cricket.

I would like this site to be friendly banter as long as it’s not offensive i want us to support each other with all the crap we go through

This site is for everyone and trust me all are welcome but i would like to see men involved.

I am not a doctor i am but a service user where people can talk freely any bullying that goes on will be stamped on The site will take a few weeks to come alive but keep me in mind

Kind Regards

LP

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